Adulthood

[adderslj]

Sure, I'm 30. Sure, I've had a mortgage for somthing like six or seven years. Sure, I'm getting married. Sure, I've held down jobs solidly for around nine years now. At no point over that time did I really feel adult.

I do now.

It's a combination of things, I think. I had a long chat with Lorna on the way home last night, when we talked about things like kids, joint bank accounts and possible places to move to once we're married. That felt pretty damn adult. It felt, in fact, like my life is becoming something like my parents had just before I was born. Now, I'm five years younger than Dad was when he had me but it'll take a little while for all these things to drop into place. I'm certainly moving into that stage of life that they were in 35 years ago.

The fact that my father is no longer alive adds to it. He's no longer there to fall back on, to pick me up when I fall down and to advise me when I need direction. I'm not on my own: my friends and family see to that. But I'm moving from the relatve lack of responsibility of youth into a period of my life where my responsabilities to others are growing.

God help me, I'm looking forward to it. That's what makes me an adult.

Comments

[maliszew.livejournal.com]

For what it's worth, I didn't really feel like an adult till I had a child. Now, with two, the feeling of adulthood is awfully strong. That's not a bad thing at all, but it is a big change from the arrested adolescence a lot of this generation (myself included) experienced all through our early and mid-20's.

Glad you're looking forward to it. It's a very enjoyable experience and I heartily recommend it. Welcome to the Club! :)

[eyebeams.livejournal.com]

*sniff*

I'll miss you.

Sound good though:-)