Monday Afternoon Doldrums

[adderslj]

While the Americans that make up the majority of my readership (with apologies to jackslack, ladyjestyr and eyebeams) are busy enjoying Dead American Soldier day, I'm labouring away in the office in a desperate attempt to get ahead. Next week, you see, we have two days' holiday to celebrate the Queen's Golden Jubilee. Now, that would be a cause for rejoicing in most quarters, but for us poor devils on weekly magazines it means doing five days' work in three. Pah. Humbug.

I've done quite a bit to get ahead, so I've been passing that mid-afternoon lull coming up with stupid ideas for the real names of major holidays with ladyjestyr:


Small Furry Subterranean Mammal Superstition Commemoration Day

Day Co-opted From Ancient Religious and Spiritual Traditions and Now Hijacked To Represent The Alleged Birth of a Judeo-Christian Iconic Personality

Day That Those Ungrateful Colonials Celebrate Their Treachery In Kicking Their Rightful Lords and Masters Out of The UK's American Colonies

Day That Those Ungrateful Colonials Celebrate Their Treachery In Kicking Their Rightful Lords and Masters Out of The UK's Australian Colonies, Except The Governmental Apparatus, Because Quite Frankly If You Let Australians Elect Their Head Of State You'd Get A Bloody Rugby League Player for President.

Comments

[jadasc.livejournal.com]

Along with, I presume, "Day That Those Ungrateful Colonials Celebrate Their Treachery In Decimating The Prior Inhabitants of The UK's American Colonies"

Re:

[adders.livejournal.com]

*applauds*

[maliszew.livejournal.com]

While we're at it, why don't we add "Day the Justification of the Oppression of British Catholics for Hundreds of Years is Celebrated, based on the 'Defeat' of a Trumped Up Conspiracy against the Crown?" Sounds like a good addition to the list.

[adders.livejournal.com]

But that just takes us down the road of:

Day to Celebrate Greed, Envy and Gross Commercialism In Which The Man Whose Name Adorns The Holiday (Who Would Be Horrified By Its Current Form) Is Replaced By A Fat Man In Coca-Cola's Colours

Day To Celebrate A Pagan Festival With Fertility Offerings, Completely Forgetting The Christian Spiritual Message Of Its Modern Incarnation

Day To Celebrate A Bunch Of Wealthy Businessmen Driving Out Wealthy Monarchists And Calling It Freedom, Unless You're Black In Which Case Get Back to Work In The Fields

All of a sudden the fun goes out of the game.

[maliszew.livejournal.com]

>All of a sudden the fun goes out of the game.

As you wish. It seems that road was already gone down in the first batch of alternate names. I simply returned the "favor." :)

[adders.livejournal.com]

Perhaps it's worth explaining the context of the original discussion which was several Americans describing it as a "beer and BBQ" holiday, which seemed to miss the point.

The whole point originally was to mock the hypocrisy of the way some pretty important holidays.

But then Americans have never been good at irony. :-)

[maliszew.livejournal.com]

>But then Americans have never been good at irony. :-)

I'll give you that.

[a-machine.livejournal.com]

Oh, for the love of God. Does everything have to be such a big deal? Have a beer and some BBQ and smile.